In life, it is most times said that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. In the workplace, I would say that Men have egos and Women ???
Question marks, filled now by tons of them in my mind. What would you put instead of the question marks? This is the question and answer I discussed with a good friend of mine over sushi a few nights ago…
I know that the posts in my blog have been morphing into posts where I make claims against the way women play the wrong cards at the workplace. I even got an anonymous comment on my "How to Fold a Napkin" post from of one my readers claiming that men also make our life miserable in the workplace. To this anonymous reader, please send me a note at the below email address, and share your story with me, I only speak from my own experience at work, and would love to hear yours - womenonlinecanada@gmail.com
So back to the question marks...to me, us women, have too much jealousy. Here is why - Wikipedia defines jealousy as an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.
In the workplace, often times, we anticipate potential loss; we fear of others and at times develop insecurity. This insecurity most times, and as experienced, transpires from the fact that we consider other women our own competition. I mean...how can we compare ourselves to men if they are from Mars? Men are treated differently in the workplace, are valued differently, often earn more, don’t have to worry about mat leaves, pregnancy, sensitivity, and so on...right? Again wrong!
Men do have their own egos to build at work, I believe the pressure is just as much for them (or maybe not?). However, these men form their own "boys club" at work, and this, this is how they climb to the top.
I have seen it and experienced it! Whoever enters it, it’s protected by all and all will climb together, the way in which they bond in business is glued by accomplishments and power. Yes, power. Because in a group of men, they all have to pull their weight and push each other hard to do so. At my current job, I have a colleague (a true friend) who has infiltrated himself into the boys club...interestingly enough; I was the one who suggested such move. My friend is more of a “girls” type of guy, he is not a prick, he respects women and rarely makes offensive or stupid jokes, a true gentleman. However, at my work, we women could never butter his bread or help his case. The man reports into men and senior management at work are mostly male; therefore his bread should be buttered with testosterone. And this is why I advised him to not only become part of the boys club, but also to ensure that he was truly part of the clan. Women could never be part of this boys' club, and not because we can’t but because we just don’t fit and should never try to fit. Why? Because we ought to respect that we do come from Venus, and respect is earned not on how we equal ourselves to men, but on how we make sure we get noticed, respected and valued.
To make a long story short, after my friend became “part” of this club, in a matter of months, and also thanks to another man, he got a 10% raise on his salary (no review was needed) and is very happy with this, who wouldn't! The infiltration of this man into the boys club, helped me make my case on my blog as he became part of the bunch...off the record, the stuff he tells me is unbelievable, but his position at the company is now secured and untouchable. Note to self though, he does not like half the men in this club, he says they are true pricks, disrespectful and has told me stories that make me feel sorry for their young wives...which by the way, it will be another blog post in the future which I am drafting "Teachers and Suits". You will read this hopefully in the February post ;)
So back to my male friend, just because he does not stand the men, it does not mean he does not enjoy listening to the stupid stuff they have to say, because he, as a man, can turn OFF and ON the "care" chip, unlike women (come on, don’t say you don’t know what I am talking about). Because we are from Venus, this option did not come installed or is part of our package. We not only have the care chip ON all the time, but we make sure everybody knows it! And the problem is, we usually make sure our female counterparts know it too, because we also know they can’t turned it off either.
Recently, a girls club has been formed at my workplace, everybody knows who these 3 women are and understand why the bond was formed. Although the 3 are glued together and think their bond is powerful, the reality is that such bond is glued with saliva and nothing else. Meaning, it won’t last. Why? Because in the first place, the bond was only formed to please the big boss of the group and make sure the boss “buttered their bread”. Unlike in the boys club, which was formed because these men have power and they have all made sure their contributions are seen and cared for at the company. These men although pricks in life, are brilliant at work and they help their care, and trust me, no slacker will ever be part of this group. The girls club on the other hand was formed to protect their lack of sales known-how and to ensure their jobs are preserved. These women care more about hiring young women to do their work, than about making sure the team as a whole is successful, not to mention that in order to form this group, they had to alienate one of the strongest women. They feared for their own self-preservation, because they knew the strongest one might overpower them one day, and this they will never allow to happen. My take on things though is, if they all know they alienated the best due to insecurity (jealousy), how can any of them rise to the top ever? I bet you any money these women will turn against each other the moment one feels insecurity overpowers them. Trust me, that which is wrongly glued, will un-glue itself rapidly. There will be blood...and thankfully, it wont be mine =)
Me? I am the outsider.... looking from the outside in, and although a bit of a victim in the process, I have raised to the top in the end...how exactly? By living in Venus and traveling to Mars from time to time...=) Continue to follow my blog, and you'll know exactly how I did it.
Please feel free to email, post comments or follow me on the many social channels Women and the Workplace has! Would love to hear from you ladies!
Thanks a million for being part of this blog.
Sincerely,
A Woman
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